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2008~!

So its Friday again, exams are over, friends are off, to return home, the much hyped PARTY, is done with……which sort of leaves me, with a ton of FREE time, and I should be happier than this, but I am so used to these people, that their absence gets to me, that I am an emotional idiot most of the times, is a vital part of it too.

So this is the last weekend of 2007………2007, I think was a good year, much love is due to those around me, who made my life so much better in so many ways……so here it goes;

To Priya, someone I thought I could never ever be friends with, who listens to all my crazy ideas with a twinkle in her eyes and flashes that brilliant smile of hers, which makes it worth the effort!... also along with Akhil and ankur, introducing me to the wonderful world of Dark temptations and cold coffees.

To Akhil, who sulks, screams and sulks some more, but in the end never forgets being my friend….and who draws the best penguins ever!

To Harish, who is incredibly intelligent and yet, cho…

yeah....right!

Hmmm, so I havent been here for some time now, well, exams going on now, I don’t really want to say how god or bad they have been going cause regardless I never cross the meagre 7 even…..whats the point?

There are a lot of things I hate, things I detest, maybe they bring out my own character flaws or all that is incomplete in my existence but right now all I know is that there is this man I am related to, whose idea of women is barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen!...and I am sorry, but I thought we were out of the stone ages!............ I hate the not-so-subtle use of “since u are a girl……..” , well I am not going to get into how women have been downtrodden and blah blah blah, but u know, people are so busy thinking about it on a larger scale that no one even gives a little thought to things on a smaller scale, I do not hate this man, I just don’t like the way he is, the way he has been for the past 19 years I have known him.... I do not know whether to pity his wife for putting up …
when i read the following piece, i thought the person who put it up was being his usual cynical self,i mean i have always thought highly of him, but here was this guy who has what most people dont, what most people yearn for and still he chooses to see everything around him in this light,when i co-relate my thoughts to his, i see myself being the kid which i probably am, seeing the world through a rose tint... nothing is wrong, i am the same, people are the same and the only thing that possibly changed is perception, not towards them but towards most situations.......maybe it is a good thing, to be all bitter and cynical,the idea is very appealing to me, i am reconsidering that "build-a-wall-around-yourself-idea" but really......nothing has happened........nothing, really.

People disappoint me.
I tell them at outset
they will. They insist...
(in not so many words)
"No, I'm the real deal..."
and sometimes
I am taken in. But
in the end... people
Disappoint, dismay.
Thankf…

been some time na!!!

Hey you…….yeah yeah I know its been a little too long since I dropped in to say hello, and I have no reasons for it yaar, didn’t really have very much to say… was partly bored and partly lazy, didn’t know what to write and wanted to take my time to add spice to my life so that I could come back here and write about it.

Well Cosmo’s advice to Capricorn women for adding spice to their lives goes something like this, “ you go girl, add some spice to life, the next time u see him, rip his clothes off..” ….ehem…….well that line didn’t do very much to me but did scare someone, so much so that I can now threaten Ish with it. Well it kind of comes as a surprise to him, the content of these women’s magazines, this after he “accidentally” came across a copy of Marie Claire, well then, thank god he hasn’t read Cosmo yet…that would definitely scare him…. So I bought a new orange sweater which I believe looks quite good on me, plus Priya, my lovely has the same one … so for this season its Ish’s …

eee today!

well hey, its been sometime i know......i am still almost the same, perpetually messing up a lot of things...still laughing, yes!

today wasnt that good after all, "Ich" fell down and hurt himself, so no college today...not exciting atleast....

i realisd something today, it takes so little to make us sad, while it has to be so much to make us happy.i sulked a lot today, for varied reasons but in the end i guess its silly to trust everyone in ur life, just cause u talk to them and see everyone day in and day out.....we are all selfish ignorant people, who seldom think about others in our lives.....good so i know that about myself, just need to figure that abt others now.

moped a lot,. missed a lot..loved a lot.

lots of love,
ich liebe du,
S.

then..and NOW.......

a couple of months ago, i put up the following verse by vikram seth.....i still love it, but then i was assured that its one of those ideal things that never happen, or even if they do, then not to me.i debated the equity mentioned, for i was certain that in my case reciprocation never existed.......

"Half out of sleep I watch your sleeping face.
Behind your eyelids' restlessness I see
A dream that waking may not quite displace.
If there were equity you'd dream of me."


but now, well now now is different, unbelievably different........i know now that what i feel is reciprocated. that i wake up every morning and think about u, somewhere, u too are thinking about me.
that now i can love u knowing that u love me back.
i know love does not depend on whether or not it is mutual.but trust me, love is definitely better that way...and much easier.

so thankyou.
love,
s.

dance dance baby!!

hello........
i know i know its been sumtime and a LOT been happening so .........well i am here now na.

so i went to see this dance performance thing yesterday, kuchipudi performance....see i didnt really want to go, but had to since the oldies needed someone.... now the thing is that the lady they were going to see is someone i absolutely detest, on the only occassion that i had met her, 2 years ago, i had gone from disiking to hating her, she yells at anyone in sight and i am sure she hasnt really smiled since the 1980's................. but then i looked at her more closely, people coming and greeting her, but not a smile, just a flicker of recognition. in that one moment i saw how alone she was, what i felt for that woman then was not hate anymore but rather pity....to be surrounded by people but still be up on that pedestal, unable to connect with a single soul, to have disconected to yourself so far off from people, from life that you cant feel anything anymore, not even grie…
College….atta…..McDonald’s….great India place….Nirula’s… (People)…..CSM….atta.
A walk to remember……………………………

That’s all I am going to say, so going now, oddly intuitive that Ankur is going to put all these feelings of mine into words……what then??

Cannot say more, afraid that I’ll say too much………u figure out.

Bye

to anuj..........

And through it all
he offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call he won't
forsake me
and I'm loving angels instead


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!........life without u would be impossible, really!.love u lots!

hulooo!

heyloooo heyloooo

first things first, ankur just started blogging and my god! he's so good!!!!
i know i know, the blog is a little sad, but then when u look closer, he does write beautifully, its an insight into his brain, and i thank god that he started writing for these days we arent getting to talk much, all i get to hear is " accha main sone ja raha hoon" so the blog=great!!!!! akhil(who thinks i should be introduced to ounctuation) also has a blog now, iwould write more about it if he WROTE sumthing on it!!!!
priya will get her laptop soon too, but i am not expecting her to blog anytime soon, unlike us she has brains!love u brainy!!

hmm, wat else............anuj is in europe, has put up lovely pics on orkut, now suddenly i am in the mood to take nice pics too, but people have to around for that, otherwise photos get all lonely lonely, and then wats the point!!......ehem ehem!

so occupying myself these days by reading magazines( do NOT ask why!), i came accross this segme…

.............phew!!

oh god! devoting one whole long day just to studies is a difficult task i must say, ya ya i know it sounds bad but still, since not much studying has been going on anyways, so i guess its good only.

so i spoke to C yesterday, and since i already told him, he was bombarding me with all these questions, i dont blame him, he understands what i am thinking so these rapid fires are fun..................he is perhaps one of the people who get why i am the way i am, why i must tell someone everything and why i just cannot stay shut!!, :) well and thats why we are such great friends i think. so since we have these similar tastes and very similar thought processes, this is his take on my perfect guy; C strongly believes that the guy who recognises my NEED for pink shoes will probably be the one..................now did i SAY that was my theory, NO, so do NOT give me that look!

but i do love my shoes!!...........2nd love ;)

i am here,na!

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a relationship, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."


i know u dislike saying things again and again, and then again, why should u say them again when once said lasts a lifetime but then........................life is too short, say what you have to today for we may not have enough time to put into words what we feel, then there'll be too much to regret,and this is not one of those conversations i want to leave unfinished, its going to last...its essence lingering, for i will be here, to listen to u and to be ur witness.

love,
s.

p.s.-50 yrs..................sigh!!
heyy, been sometime na, well although i had lots of things to say didnt know how to put them into words so just let them be since the intelligent people around me affirm that words arent very important always, but i wont learn will i??
so silly old me, back here to bug you with gibberish ji!!

went to air force museum today, hey bhagwan, such a bad trip, totally boring, even the planes didnt seem interesting,so we chucked it all and left,went to dilli haat, had fun, u know i observed sumthing, dilli haat is just one of those places which make you feel all cozy and where u shud definately take someone you feel an intimate connection with, yeah yeah, fancily i am saying its romantic and a place for couples but also that it just feels good, priya and harish satisfied themselves with hyderbadi food....they were just so glad.

ankur(swami) suddenly developed a craving for golgappas(he thinks abt THE QUEEN too much!) so he had three plates of golgappas, and the fruit beer and he was acting all b…

aankhon aakhon mein...........

C. went back today, back to where he lives, back to the place I cant keep calling him up and bug him all the time, but well I left that about a year ago, but still, he is one of my dearest friends, that’s why I am a little sad about this. Melodrama isn’t really our thing, somehow the complete nuts that we are, things tend to be a little weepy, so hence we cry and say our goodbyes, it is at the airport, when I see him off that he opens up his box of advices, he says since he is elder to me, for once I MUST listen to him, that there will always be boys but I am more important than any of them, that he knows I am wise enough to make my own intelligent decisions but I should just let him know in case I am faced with any such person who hurts me, and it strikes me yet again that he will indeed always be the same caring C. I always knew. He asks me about the important stuff in my life now, he wants to talk about what he already knows and what I haven’t told him yet, I tell him, everything, …
yes i understand.......maybe not wholly, not so much that i maybe any closer to you but i do understand, a little bit but even so.i think we do mean most of the times what our words imply, not all promises are broken, our words are most important only when they are truly meant, and straight from the heart.

strolling through life, we look for that one person who pays as much attention to you as you to them,not that it never happens or always does, but u know u are lucky if someone remembers that you like roses but not the red ones, and so on.....its strange but this kind of a relationship brings with it a certain sense of satisfaction, someone notices you and that in someway is enough.

i know i ask too many questions and some which make u tink too much, but i never mean to blame you really, its jst that certainity brings with it a security which i am not used to and the idea of ever getting it dont go dowwn well with me so i end up restless, more so than usual. i am sorry. i know its to…

...........................

i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens, only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses. Your eyes have their silence, in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which i cannot touch because they are too near.

i carry your heart with me, i carry it in my heart.

...................... understand?? tell me tommorow... :)

love,
S.

losing all and still.........

"The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.


Lose something every day.Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it make look like (Write it!) a disaster."


you lose, you accept, you move on.
and gaining............................................i wouldnt knw.
FINALLY went to that pizza hut thing…………….great fun, perhaps a tad too expensive, but worth the effort!

I had this incredible pasta, people refused to taste it but I maintain that it was great….actually I have never been the sort, u don’t like it so I don’t either, and I do not believe it is egoistic or anything….see, if your boyfriend wanted you to be sati savitri he would rather have gone for a bal vivaah, even in my last relationship ( which was a long long time ago), I wasn’t majorly different, and I do hear that I was quite easy and fun to be with, I mean just because I didn’t call him every two hours with a , “jaaaaaaaanu!!! Where are youuuuuu!!” is what made that relationship work. I guess even those who do these things might have a reason, maybe they are just insecure……but you know if you expect a relationship to work, you have to base it on more than just attraction, if you want an arm candy, go ahead, but if there’s even an ounce of possible commitment involved then, baby, u …

..............filmy

lal mere dil ka haal hai,
lagta tumpe kamaal hai,
yeh khat nahi sawaal hai,
kya subhash ghai ki picture taal hai??

okay okay sry sry. i am really very bored!!!
but i maintain my stand abt the RED!

The laws

Laws of Love, Which lay down who is to be loved by whom, and how much. Actually, it isn’t a law, a theorem, because those have some basis. It is an axiom. No reason, no argument, just that it is.

at this point the question is does reciprocity make the difference it is vouched to make? i dont know, i like someone who doesnt, while someone else likes me and i dont seem to, so life is this complex mess........u get what u deserve in life...maybe thats why u arent here.

u are bad!!!

Hmm so the question of the day is:

What is your man?


My man, I am proud to say, is intelligent and very thoughtful; although he is super smart he is one of the most caring individuals I have come across. So lets see now, I think( and know), that he is very cute and very sweet, I think of him when I read somewhere, “ Handsome is as handsome does!!”, so now you know who “Mr. Handsome” is. So taking inspiration from Linda Goodman, I can safely say that, jumping around and partying is not what you’d expect him to be doing; if you haven’t met him and are looking for him, just for the info, look in the corner, he is the cute smiley guy, in the green shirt who speaks to you when spoken to, so you walk up to him, and say hello, don’t expect him to give you a bear hug, he wont be overly friendly, but just the optimum amount, just as he does things. Now, don’t assume that he is one of those snobbish, cold people who think you aren’t good enough for him, it’s not that. It’s true that he takes his …

today........eeeeeeeeeee!

bad bad day today, the only good part was the paneer roll i had at the end of the day and even that is wearing off now, i know how the drunk people might feel when the DARU wears off.
BAD!!!!!

so since people are ill and not showing up,i feel ewww!~

bored of classes,
i made a list today:

dont deny, its true:

Why he doesnt/ cant like me:

1. i talk too much

2. i dont exactly look like Ms.WORLD !!

3. i call him sadu in public

4. i am a blunt person and he is a diplomat

5. i like him and i make it too clear.

6. i tell him when i dont like his shirt.

7. on 14.8.07, i made him wait for 2 hours and didnt even say sorry.

8. i call him kanjoos in spite of the fact that its not true.

9. i am not the typical girl.

10. i hate weekends coz i cant see him and that makes me obssesive compulsive, i guess, and people dont date people who are psychos.

11. i dont get jealous easily.

12. i like him, perhaps a lil too much for my own good!!

see, i told u so!

independence!!

hullo hullo

so update, my cough and cold still persist....and looks like other people are catching up with me too, so i can only hope that i pass on the LOVE too......eee i am bad, i wish EVERYbody gets better real soon, and as for me, i am hopeless and hence cannot be expectd to change in any way....

so HAPPY independence!!!!!!! ehem, dont give me that expression and dont look too happy, i am here only!!

had a nice start to the week, i have the sweetest frends i tell you,

akhil - puts up with me no matter what, listens to my banter and still stays with me in spite of the fact that almost the whole of atta believes him to be my DUKHIYARA PATI

harish - one of the most intelligent people i know, and still hangs out with me.......do i need to say more??...well i personally think he SHOULD have his own talk show, he's the best OPRAH!!

Priya - the coolest girl in AMITY, no no in the whole of NCR!!....................we have the best
discussions ranging from men in uniform to complex…

VOICES.............

voices in my head,
chanting, 'kisses, bread.
prove yourself. fight. shove,
learn. earn. look for love,'

drown a lesser voice,
silent now of choice:
'breathe in peace, and be
still, for once, like me.'

cough, cold and LOVE!!

hello

well today was hectic, not feeling very well,: ( …..i mean mentally great but physically, bad.

After my last post which was about you knw the usual stuff, had a little talk with ankur, ankur is perhaps the only person who gives me realistic feedbacks on my posts, however bad or good they might be. Yeah, about my last post, Ankur feels that it was possibly a little too prominent, hmmm, to put my feelings out on the table and all, well I guess that’s where me and ankur differ, we might be thinking the same thing, at the same time, but we have completely different perspectives, I know I know that when you like someone, let the eyes speak and all, and this is my take on it, I like him, my feelings are at stake, if I want something, I NEED to make the effort na , for me to understand someone better and vice versa, conversing is my only option. That’s what happens I guess when for the longest time you want people to understand you, and they cease to, because you didn’t say anything, the…

thinking...

Hey you.

Had a nice red t-shirt discussion with SOMEONE, he says red wont suit him, I beg to differ but I guess that’s just me, but I really do think red would go great with the personality.

NANO gang is back to college, and life’s great again!!………………………plus side of everything E1 and E2 are connected, yay!

There are people around me who think that I am possibly chasing dream which is near Impossible, and although they do this bcoz they care for me and are great frends, I do not think I will stop, the point here being that “no dreams are greater than those which come true!!”, so here I am and this is my dream and I so hope that it comes true, I hope so.

And yeah, remember, A PASSION THAT DOESN’T CONSUME IS HARDLY WORTH HAVING!

There’s a lot to say, but don’t know how, so now I’ll just leave u with this,
When do I think of you: -

1.When I see someone wearing “your” green.

2.When someone calls me after they say they would, that’s so you!

3.When I hear Bryan Adams.

4.Every time my phone rings.

5.…

confused.. . .

as people tend to put it, i am big time dazed and confused, whereever i am, no matter what i am doing, i am confused as hell. actually what i AM confused about is people, not my feelings towards them, but people, those who dont seem to be what they are or cover up their sweet nice selves just bcoz others expect them to.

but every now and then, u meet a bunch of people who form a connection with you that there is no need to pretend, no requirement to be pretentious for you are liked and loved for just being YOU.

"thats basically it, no need to say stuff coz the other person gets what u might say if u wud at all, its ok to speak for hours at lenght on the phone and still have more to say but in person struggle to find ur words, all cz its okay.

coz u can wear ur green shirt, and i can be happy thinking its for me, whatever the truth might be.when i fondly narrate this to those around me, they give me a look, one that seems to say "its great that u are happy, but u do know that h…

happy days r here again!

Hello, hello.

Hmmm….. now now I have been verrry busy indeed,
Well busy and kind of happy, ehem, two things do that to me, among others,
No.1 ehem ehem……….. u know who (not voldemort!!) and No.2 SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!

He he , well shopped with akhil and harish on Thursday, they moved into a new PG and had to shop for home stuff, bed linen and all…….well not that I enjoy that kind of shopping very much, but the guys I tell you, are INCAPABLE of it….seriously, ok its like this, akhil = no bargain whatsoever!!.....we went to this shop to buy bed sheets, so there we are looking for single bed sheets and pillow covers, and every bed sheet I pick out, Harish rejects ( “ VERRRY GIRLY!!”, ehem , “NO COMMENTS” if Akhil picks out white ones with little pink flowers!! ), so they zero in on a brown bed sheet (“ew ew”) and the shopkeeper proclaims Rs.225, and I give him a dirty look, then he asks us how much we are willing to pay, I turn to akhil, and Akhil, the great, says, “ hum 200 se ek rupya zyada n…

sunshine all over.

Hey you.

Well yeah it’s been some time since I met u now, na??
Well things are going okay here, not too bad, there are certainly some bright spots, and sunshine revisits often!!

College is nice, akhil, me, harish and priya hang together all the time, but since we are nice, SANE people, we don’t label ourselves “Da gang” or put up pictures on orkut reading “Me and MA frenz in DA INSTI”…….eeeeeeesh!

You know, I cant point it out but classes are very dull now, subjects maybe, but since there’s aero, its got to be nice yaar, but its not working, maybe it’s the absence of nano people, I miss them a lot….u don’t know how much.

These days ankur and me try to keep each other company, he misses Richa while I yearn to be with the nano log, it works out for us, suddenly in a boring class one day, Ankur and me were...well…bored….and then since we were discussing our NOT-SO-GOOD love lives, and owing to the fact that our prospective partners do not seem to reciprocate our feelings, we decided to run aw…

modest proposal...

As you've asked for black and white,
May I send these lines to you
In the tacit hope you might
Take my type at least as true

Let this distance disappear
And our hearts approach from far
Till we come to be as near
As acrostically we are.

Now thats how it was to be, i hope it was all this, i know u dont function like the others around you, and thats what makes you, YOU.........you dont play games, your feelings are genuine, maybe not towards me, but they are, and thats commendable, i still continue to hope and pray but i love you even more just because u are still there...

now i know, you may think that i am just be in a phase and this will pass, but thats not me and its impossible to know you and let the love slide by, untouched, unnoticed....just because people dont tell you that often and fondly, doesnt mean its not true, my words might hardly mean anything to you, you'll never admit to it, but still, i dont wish to flatter, but i speak of what i see clearly, and i dont know how anyon…

Motor ONN hai kya??

hey ppl...............
well those around me knw that THAT title is NOT that wierd(maybe!!) well this is the tragedy i tell u but i must now chalk down a list of all the cute guys around me, its necessary:

1. The Chaddi Man(ehem.....cant write his real name here, thats not as cute as him)- hes cute even when hes stupid, which is quite often these days, ask priya!!

2. Robin, the Motor man- he's my neighbour and hes OH MY GOD CUTE, as long as u are just looking at him, i mean hes all intelligent looking and if god forbids he speaks its usually, MOTOR ONN HAI KYA??..................(no i havent forgotten the spelling of ON).......but hes sooooo cute!!

3. Prakhar- well not the same kinda cute as the above two but his actions make him cute, but about that later.

4. ankur, his pari is his WORRY(and vice versa!!)..........ankur is no doubt verry sweet and thats makes him cute.

and surprisingly that's it, no wonder i have NO love life!!!!
well yeah i havent put HIM in this list coz hes ALWAYS…

love, actually??

hmm, th above mentioned subject need not always be associated with happiness, like everythin else, love too comes with strings attached, to get to the happily ever after, if any......even if u r sad, its a part of that feeling, when we are sad we forget all the gud times we've had courtesy the same love, love gives u the butterflies, which make it all worth the effort, the meloncholy is a part of it, makes u realise how important the person really is...... i know i know when u cry ur eyes out for that someone, but then a simple message, a small smile, a wink, a call or even THE green shirt, bring home the realization that it makes it all fruitful.love stays the same, u do not stop loving someone, circumstances do not change the love, do not diminish it, u may be with someone else, whatever the reason may be, but the love still makes u light up when He walks into the room.....so next time i am sad abt my ..ehem.. life...........i'll read this post and i guess it'll make me…

first day....again!!

hey college started today, i cant believe its been an year since i started at AMITY, i like it now and pakka wudnt trade it in for anything, but got to say since its been an year, coll is not the same without a certain people around even if its for day, or in some cases much longer!!.. ......priya wasnt there, missed her, and although i knew HE wasnt coming, for some odd reason fixed my gaze on the door, quite expectantly, GOD!! but its gonna be hard to get used to, trust me.
looking forward to everything!!

2 more days........

2 more days and college!!!
going to miss the nano sambar kutri gang the most!!

saw one of my favourite movies yesterday......i believe everyone should watch it once atleast!!


well so rahul khanna + nandita das+ great story + history.............AAMIR KHAN................it doesnt take much to make one happy now does it......plus shopping today!!

hullo

i saw parts of annie hall today, although at times i dont understand woody allen, but i sure do prefer him to the mindless crap people watch nowadays(sumtimes i do too)..... and then theres this line in the movie,which i definitely do understand....

"Even as a kid, I always went for the wrong women. I feel that's my problem. When my mother took me to see Snow White, everyone fell in love with Snow White. I immediately fell for the wicked queen."

love it absolutely, and even more if u get it.

u knw sumtimes i think, people should build that wall around themselves and never let it crumble, that way atleast u wont lose track of ur goal(if any)......maybe.dont know, maybe i should too, just focus on earning money and all, work my ass off, put emotions aside, maybe it'll help na? that'll be a good life too.

S.

P.s.-anuj, no i am not trying to get u to call me, nothing is wrong with me. lots of love!! :)
मधुर प्रतीक्षा ही जब इतनी, प्रिय तुम आते तब क्या होता?

mera number aa gaya!!!

Shopping, yes the proper kind!!!!

went to westside and the great india place, couldnt believe it but bought the most adorable pair of flats, pink and polka dots, little white bow, very converse like, but in short AMAZING!!!
also bought a new green kurti but thats secondary, the shoes are my first love, mom got a yellow kurta, says i can borrow it too, but i dont see that happening in the near future...:) .......... i also went to the Om book shop and finally bought TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD, to break the danielle steel spell, i guess its going to be good, certainly hope it saves me from boredom for the next couple of days.....i finished THE LONG ROAD HOME, danielle steel, it wasnt bad, not pathbreaking or anything, just that i realize that there is a certain set pattern in all steel's books, the ones i have read so far seem to be awfully predictable.well yeah, so moving on, i enquired the price of a bookmark at the book shop today and was outraged when the guy quoted Rs.95 for a fancy…

by god ki kasam!!

I miss samarth yaar, terribly!!!............. :(
well its hard to not miss someone you have known since u were 2 yrs old, anyways...Sam’s always been around, so much so that I have always taken him for granted, now that he's in far Bangalore, I truly miss him, I mean I always yell at him when we are on the phone coz he’s always discussing cigarettes with some buddy of his, when I am on the line, I mean come on, u call me SUTTA aright but is that really necessary??, its ironical, I mean we cant call each other often now, he has his exams and stuff and I have mine too, and there were days in school when he used to call me sooo frequently, that sometimes I used to ditch his calls, since we never had anything to talk about but we'd still be on the phone, for hours constantly taking turns repeating the same "aur bata" line, and it would seem useless and take forever.....he'd never ever put the phone down, I’d always say samarth mujhe jana hai,and he'd say KYUN, the…

........

u know sometimes i think i am all wrong abt this, my theory of how i should live my life, maybe i shouldnt have all these people around me, nope, i shouldnt, i am gonna run away one of these days, i'd like to, but i knw i am incapable of that too.i am a dumb person, i was a dumb kid, labelled stupid, and not surprised by it, just for the simple reason that i laughed when i shouldnt, i spoke when i wasnt needed to, i cried when it wasnt allowed, but i did take instructions well, which has always been construed of a lack of having a mind of my own, hence tagging me a follower than a leader, i was/am never intelligent enough, never polite enough, never responsible enough, not spirited, not gifted, lacking confidence(forget why??, thats not important)...just never enough, to satisfy those around me, to live upto their expectations, its not their fault u see, i dont learn so i am still the same, plus i am selfish enough to want what i want and expect generously from the others, i am fa…

hum aa gaye!!

hullo....

well missed u a little bit, was infact looking for something substantial to write about, so now that I don’t have anything I am just going to go back to the usual. So let’s see, although in the past few days my life hasn’t changed drastically or anything, but these days were certainly fun.

Well, u know those times when you are feeling completely low, are moping around the house hating yourself, and then voila, some people come along and u are all better?..... well that’s what Anuj always does, and I completely Love him for it, I know there are times when we don’t talk for months but then talking to him makes it all better, its great, just coz he gets me, I don’t have to give unnecessary explanations, justifications et al, well and just coz we can laugh about any given thing but can be very serious too, mind it. Neha D. still believes that I LURRRRRVE Anuj, maybe just coz she does, well I do just not like THAT, yes life’s hard without him but still I am the only gal who knows h…

that's amore.......

Hello hello ……..

I went out today, by the time I got back home, it had begun to rain, well so theres a bahaana to go all CHHAP CHHAP, he he, great weather, feels great!!

You know, there are times when amidst a casual conversation something big strikes you, an idea or just this realization, well today happened to be one of those days, and this conversation with him today was one of those conversations, so what I definitely don’t have is PATIENCE, zilch!!, none at all.

So you know what, sometimes it makes me feel like I am not going anywhere with this, well maybe true, but then again, I like it the way it is, he’s my choice, well I may not be his but its worth the effort just to know that……….aaah forget it.

Maybe I should let love be love, not necessarily give it a name….its difficult, but maybe that’s how it should be.

So went out and still bought no books, shame on me, as a punishment more Danielle Steel ,
:

So “people” should blog more, so that I get a reprieve from Ms.Steel. Thank you ji.


Shopping

yeah yeah dont get too excited, i got up all jumpy too, so this is wat happens everyday at my place , mum tries to wake me up, i shut out her voice using the nice cushions, then she shouts, then i am reluctantly dragged out of bed and so on.....................
today to wake me up she tries this new trick,"get up, shopping today!!" and voila i am up, just like that and i obediently make my bed and in ten minutes i am all scrubbed clean down at the breakfast table and THEN, then i find out that the above mentioned "shopping" ACTUALLY refers to sum grocery shopping, eeeeeeeew!!

well so after going to the market, and after half an hour of "do kilo aloo for Rs.10, GASP!!" and lotsa arguing, i'm back, theres karela for lunch, and possibly sumthing similar for dinner..........there is no justice in this world i tell u!!!

due to extreme boredom, picked up a copy of femina, read the astro part and was appauled,

" get the present guy completely out of ur syst…

finally

so finally SUMONE is gonna start blogging, i am looking forward to THAT, sunshine!!


Today's fortune:
Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you

well, i am here, so............

aloha.......

hey heyyyyyyyyy

so after all those days of irking ishan with "HEY BABY" turns out theres actually a movie called hey baby and its got vidya balan in it, so he wont get THAT irritated after all. :P
hmmm, what else, it seems a lil wierd u knw, that sumone likes me, well just looks like i am more used to ppl looking into my eyes, holding my hand and saying, HER NAME IS.................. he he, looks like a role reversal, but i'll try to be nice.

as of now, no new book, re reading a couple of old sheldons, nice,also lots of music, bryan adams mainly, a couple of movie songs here and there, awfully fond of a few bits so they keep running again and again. my sister thinks i have gone MAD,that i keep listening to Please forgive me again and again!!

so nuthing more to say now, looking forward to sumthing, dont knw wat but hope rtheres SUNSHINE and lots of it!!


Let me now sleep, let me not think, let me
Not ache with inconsistent tenderness
It was untenable delight; we are free--
Separa…

well well well......

helloo helloo,

lets start with this now, over the last few weeks, i have come to knw 2 ppl called siddharth, ones sidd pandey, i told u abt him, that we talk and that hes a great guy, theres this other siddharth i cam to knw,sumtime ago, he's all intelligent and wants to do his phD so i call him sidd phD, well so abt him, he's this sweet guy who's all formal on the first meeting, very chivalrous, will pay ur bill and pull out ur chair(even at mcDonald's :P),so we casually saw each other nuthing much, nuthing great, he doesnt talk much and i, well.... so i thot i bored him to death,and so when i left i thot he'd be relieved, so i was surprised when i came to knw that he had asked for my number(we were the cover for this friend couple of ours), so he called me, yesterday, casually, we got to talking, and so looks like we have nuthing i common, except a lil bit of music and thats abt it, so he listens really carefully and quotes me later, remembers stuff, and yeah dis…

interesting...........

you have the slimmest body. the light fur
that covers it is lovely. lovelier
still is that gold-shot hair; that mouth, those eyes,
smiling, unmetaphysical and wise.
enough said, but beneath this you possess
that blend of gentle whim and forcefulness
that only a bartender of high class
could have poured out. may i request a glass?

he he works for me, read it again......

ME...........

well someone persuaded me to let u knw sumthing abt me(dunno wat gud that'll do but still....)..so here i am:

20 SOMETHINGS ABT ME.................

1. i love books, reading is one of the things i do best and with utmost interest, love being alone with my books, can imagine a lot....2.hmmm, chivalry and courtesy impress me and i look forward to it in ppl, doesnt happen usually but still....3.i talk too much for my own good, i dont think its good but no self control....4.i am afraid of being lonely (lonely and alone are 2 different things)5.one of the most important things life gave me are my frenz, they happen to let me cry, without asking why so i cant make it through without them6.i hate change,absolutely detest it!!.......7.i cant let go of things, be it old stuff or people.....8.the connaught place part of delhi is my favourite, soothes me sumhow,just a stroll, thats enough.plus i dont like it when ppl refer to it as CP.9.i am scared of DEBT, n u dnt knw how much.10.i have rigid …

july...........

It was but yesterday we met in a dream.
You have sung to me in my aloneness, and I
Of your longings have built a tower in the sky
But now our sleep has fled and our dream is
Over, and it is no longer dawn.
The noontide is upon us and our half waking
Has turned to fuller day, and we must part.
If in the twilight of memory we should meet
Once more, we shall speak again together and you
Shall sing to me a deeper song.
And if our hands should meet in another dream
We shall build another tower in the sky. ANY DREAM WILL DO!!!

Doing Nothing.......................

Hey there!!...as u can see, I am up to, what I do best, Nothing!!
Well as suggested cleverly by someone, in order to write about this topic, I needed to get into the skin of the “character” and hence, do nothing, so after a day’s hard work on it, here I am….. so today was the usual lazy Sunday, you know there’s something, I am not really very fond of Sundays, don’t really know why, maybe its just that lazing around is best done when u know that u aren’t really supposed to, maybe that’s just my banter, moving on….

Even doing nothing gets very boring at times, so what does one do? Hmm, well I go back to my books, it makes me feel secure, it’s like a welcome reprieve from the untamable reality, u have no control over. well, so I went back to reading ANCIENT PROMISES, again, maybe because it’s one of my favorites, then again maybe because I identify with Janaki, the protagonist, more than anyone else, either way, you know every time I read this book, I think to myself could this ever be me?…

my thoughts exactly................

इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!
hmm, still thinking??, i think its nice,so ankur u must have liked it, nice na??
that happend to be Harishvansh Rai Bachchan, i like his writings, touchs a chord, sumwhere!!

u know...........

hmmm so i am back, yes, again!!!

lets see now, i wanted to say sumthing, now i have forgotten and i hate this........!!, this is wat happens when i sit here thinking abt sumthing, then theres kishore kumar's amplified crooning, love the song, so mind drifts off to sumplace else and now, NOW i cant remember where i began!!!

well thats the way we are!!.......wat to do, ummm, that always happens with me and songs, these days extensively with bryan adams ........one song after the other, my mind keeps going back to a lotta things, but then i realise, that since now i am HERE, not there, that must mean sumthing na..........................


all these songs seem to talk only abt LOVE, nuthing else, just love, i mean its a good thing but i do believe that too many things bind it, if we set boundaries then i am sorry i cant call it that, well lets see now, i am no expert on love but theresthe thing that if u claim to be IN LOVE with a certain sumone, a very special sumone, then how, and this…

hmm yet another day.........

oh hello!
well to begin with happy birthday to my sis, who is verrry nice to me, at times.....i wish she gets everything, really(just not the remote, i like to keep that with me!!)

well yesterday was quite fun actually, amazing weather, hence it made me be extra nice to all those around me, and yeah people were extra nice to me too, so lotsa compliments, which is always great.

HE read my blog(on major insistence), says he liked it, i dont believe him, well he thinks he has to be too nice to me coz he is afraid i'll get hurt, i am glad he gets it but it freaks me out when he gets too understanding, he shud think abt himself first,thats more important,HE is more important, so SIR, i hope u get that!!!

ehem, moving on, well u know siddharth pandey ryt(yes the OTHER Pandey ji)....i speak to him on and off, so heres one conclusion, he has no patience at all(wants to know who his secret admirer is??), he he, well all in all,great guy, very nice to talk too, one of those argue-y people like …

monsoon!!!

my second favourite season is here!!yeah, i just love the rains, mite sound cliched but theres just sumthing abt the greens and the muddy smell and everything around u just seems nice, i just seem to forget wats going on, its like the rain washes away everything, sadness, meloncholy, it just brings with it hope, lots of it.

well come to think of it, i dont like holidays very much though, primarily bcoz i dont like the very idea of change itself, now for me life's well and gud when i am going to college everyday, seeing my frends, daydreaming, yearning for some free time, sharing lunches,spending hot summer days by splitting a cola with priya and akhilaggappa........along come the hols and all thats gone, its just me and tv, all the free time in da world, just doesnt feel gud, i miss all those goofy ppl around me, huh, one whole long month to go.well after that month is over, i get to see everyone again,but i am still thinking how am i ever gonna get over the fact that sooo many peo…

june........

You don't love me at all ? O God , O shit. You still 'respect me.' Thanks. I value it About as much as one who's asked to use A second hat when he's in need of shoes Since, I discover, my own self respect Is quite enough to keep my spine erect Why is it true my ample self affection Will not suffice to buoy me in rejection ? hmmm.........i told him.

???

ok i go online and check out the astro part of yahoo.....now i do it,mainly out of habit, and this is wat i find........

Reach out today and approach that person who makes you smile. Connect!

!!!


well, THAT PERSON, sir u have the same sunsign, why dont you follow
yahoo's advice for a change!!!!!!!! and yeah, it has been the longest 8 days!!! so reach out, just call!!

there we go again!!

"Don't throw something away because one part doesn't work. Figure out why it's not working, or see if you can still keep this operation running without it. There are a million possibilities out there, so keep looking."

this is what my horoscope reads today, well wierdo coincidence, since i just placed a call to A. and he picked up and i hated what i heard,cold and distant, had made up my mind about not ever calling him again(AGAIN!!), he called me back and this is what i dont get, i dont enjoy talking to him these days since he's all attached and things are all crazy, but i keep hoping that he'd call, wat might that be abut i keep asking myself but in vain, as usual, nothing comes out of it.

you know its a little confusing for me, when i speak to him now, i hear a person who is formal and cold and distant just appearing to be there, i wonder then is there a change in him or is it my perception?? i am a little crazy i guess.

well and yeah, after writing this …

well........

and as for you, my love of many years,
who are so fine, quiet and unobsessed,
i wish you what you have already, rest
of spirit. to you memory appears
too little worth analysis or tears.
in my heart too i will it not to last,
nor do i wish that when the moonlight sears
it should inveigle you into the past.

across.....

Across these miles i wish you well. May nothing haunt your heart but sleep. May you not sense what i don't tell. May you not dream,or doubt, or weep. May what my pen this peace less day writes on this page not reach your view till its deferred print lets you say it speaks to someone else than you.