Saturday, June 30, 2007

my thoughts exactly................

इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!

hmm, still thinking??, i think its nice,so ankur u must have liked it, nice na??
that happend to be Harishvansh Rai Bachchan, i like his writings, touchs a chord, sumwhere!!

u know...........

hmmm so i am back, yes, again!!!

lets see now, i wanted to say sumthing, now i have forgotten and i hate this........!!, this is wat happens when i sit here thinking abt sumthing, then theres kishore kumar's amplified crooning, love the song, so mind drifts off to sumplace else and now, NOW i cant remember where i began!!!

well thats the way we are!!.......wat to do, ummm, that always happens with me and songs, these days extensively with bryan adams song after the other, my mind keeps going back to a lotta things, but then i realise, that since now i am HERE, not there, that must mean sumthing na..........................

all these songs seem to talk only abt LOVE, nuthing else, just love, i mean its a good thing but i do believe that too many things bind it, if we set boundaries then i am sorry i cant call it that, well lets see now, i am no expert on love but theresthe thing that if u claim to be IN LOVE with a certain sumone, a very special sumone, then how, and this is the part that i dont get, How, when do u FALL OUT OF LOVE with that person?, if u love sumone , even if u do move on,watever the reason may be, dont u still love them??, dont u carry a part of all those memories and those ties with u??, that is since u claim it comes straight from the heart, its a lil wierd to me.thats hy i knw now i was never in love with A. nope, never...............................and its great this way.
but HIM, he's a different story, i dont wanna go there, u knw i am gonna use the folowing excerpt(yes !again)........

"Could fulfillment ever be felt as deeply as loss? Romantically she decided that love must surely reside in the gap between desire and fulfillment, in the lack, not the contentment. Love was the ache, the anticipation, the retreat, everything around it but the emotion itself."

well i think i get it now,i dont say that my life stops if he doesnt feel the same as i do and thats not bcoz he isnt important, but i am not being fair to anyone, most of all him, if i refuse to move on, if i still like him, HE's great yaar,will always be, and I, i'll be ME, yup me, the same me:

never learning from my mistakes, liking ppl too much, talking too much, always, yup no scope for improvement!!!

anothr thing i realised, watever u say, it doesnt take much to be happy,

the wind, a bar of dairy milk(even if not whole), chocolate cake(or the thot of it), friends, lovers, phone calls, a wink, a smile, books(for me),a gift, a note(not currency, but yeah that too!!), shopping, jalebis, actually u knw anything can make u happy, u decide!!

.........................feels like rain!!!!

enuf for today??
so long............

Friday, June 29, 2007

hmm yet another day.........

oh hello!
well to begin with happy birthday to my sis, who is verrry nice to me, at times.....i wish she gets everything, really(just not the remote, i like to keep that with me!!)

well yesterday was quite fun actually, amazing weather, hence it made me be extra nice to all those around me, and yeah people were extra nice to me too, so lotsa compliments, which is always great.

HE read my blog(on major insistence), says he liked it, i dont believe him, well he thinks he has to be too nice to me coz he is afraid i'll get hurt, i am glad he gets it but it freaks me out when he gets too understanding, he shud think abt himself first,thats more important,HE is more important, so SIR, i hope u get that!!!

ehem, moving on, well u know siddharth pandey ryt(yes the OTHER Pandey ji)....i speak to him on and off, so heres one conclusion, he has no patience at all(wants to know who his secret admirer is??), he he, well all in all,great guy, very nice to talk too, one of those argue-y people like ME, very determined abt future plans and all(some of which i got to hear that day, very impressive!!) first impressions arent everything!!........................hmmm wat else, currently involved(he hopes) with HOT(??) norwegian babe( not me, sidd pandey!!).......... ummm yeah i like to think that i persuaded him to start blogging(he he), but nah, he started blogging and is now THE MOUSE POTATO on apna blogspot, he says its SUPPOSED to be sumthing like couch potato, just on the pc.....well...if u say so.......all in all great guy, funny blog, expert argue-er,but I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!

wat else, akhil ji, i heard was all prepared to leave amity, couldnt control, felt very bad, told harih that i'll CRY, harish told akhil, akhil called me and well the waterworks seemed to have worked, i threathened him and he says he wont go if he can help it,he he, i hope he stays though.

i miss priya with all my heart, shes this really intelligent chic, she gets me, i mean shes all smart plus shes like me, we talk abt everything and end up laughing at everything, our hot boys discussion is my favourite.

hmm wat else, ishan has gone to meet his school frenz today, i feel bad for me, my school frenz make plans in such far off places that either i cant make it or by there attitudes i dont wanna go, seriously when i left school i thot its gonna be tough to get over, well its almost the same now, but now i believe that we all move on, thats a part of my life i love and cherish but i like being where i am now, and yeah i'll move on. anuj samarth neharika and prakhar i am determined to keep in my life, one way or another.

well listening to a lot of music and since my sunshine's back,

You give me fever....................................

Wednesday, June 27, 2007


my second favourite season is here!!yeah, i just love the rains, mite sound cliched but theres just sumthing abt the greens and the muddy smell and everything around u just seems nice, i just seem to forget wats going on, its like the rain washes away everything, sadness, meloncholy, it just brings with it hope, lots of it.

well come to think of it, i dont like holidays very much though, primarily bcoz i dont like the very idea of change itself, now for me life's well and gud when i am going to college everyday, seeing my frends, daydreaming, yearning for some free time, sharing lunches,spending hot summer days by splitting a cola with priya and akhilaggappa........along come the hols and all thats gone, its just me and tv, all the free time in da world, just doesnt feel gud, i miss all those goofy ppl around me, huh, one whole long month to go.well after that month is over, i get to see everyone again,but i am still thinking how am i ever gonna get over the fact that sooo many people are leaviing, knw i am such a baby(all the time), but first the nano guys and now akhil, even richa, i hate CHANGE!!

yeah moving on(how??), as i was saying, my second fav season is monsoon and my favourtite-test season is WINTER, oye hoye, just love it, i am just ot a summer person ,cant stand the sweat and so on, but winters, its all cold and cuddly!!with the warmth of sweaters and mufflers, everyone becomes warm yaar. its just fun,ppl like u a whole lot more(or it seems like it) and hence u wanna be a lil nicer urself.

accha waise my life doesnt suck altogether, i like it now, if not too much, a lil atleast.i keep telling HIM that he shud have more faith in himself, trust me haan the guy is amazing and NO i am not just saying that but really it takes a lot to get sumthing into his head, just bcoz i think he has believed for the longest time that all those around him deserve much more than he does, if only i cud get him to see the truth:he's kind, sweet, sensitive, verrry cute, understanding, dreams a lot, thinks a lot, means wat he says, genuine,handsome(he he okay that cud just be me), determined, INTELLIGENT!!..........hmm now all thats left is to get him to believe that thats all true....u knw it takes me back to those days when i used to feel like him too, but then anuj came along and i guess thats wat HE shud do to, when u dont have faith in urself, place tat faith in those around u, they are intelligent enuf, they knw wats there to love, and hence they love you, maybe u shud just trust them then.i wish he does it.....god knows,if anyone deserves it, its HIM!!

to you,

" i know everything around u is very important, but then, SO ARE YOU!!"

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


You don't love me at all ? O God , O shit.
You still 'respect me.' Thanks. I value it
About as much as one who's asked to use
A second hat when he's in need of shoes
Since, I discover, my own self respect
Is quite enough to keep my spine erect
Why is it true my ample self affection
Will not suffice to buoy me in rejection ?
hmmm.........i told him.


ok i go online and check out the astro part of i do it,mainly out of habit, and this is wat i find........

Reach out today and approach that person who makes you smile. Connect!


well, THAT PERSON, sir u have the same sunsign, why dont you follow
yahoo's advice for a change!!!!!!!! and yeah, it has been the longest 8 days!!! so reach out, just call!!