Thursday, December 27, 2007

2008~!

So its Friday again, exams are over, friends are off, to return home, the much hyped PARTY, is done with……which sort of leaves me, with a ton of FREE time, and I should be happier than this, but I am so used to these people, that their absence gets to me, that I am an emotional idiot most of the times, is a vital part of it too.

So this is the last weekend of 2007………2007, I think was a good year, much love is due to those around me, who made my life so much better in so many ways……so here it goes;

To Priya, someone I thought I could never ever be friends with, who listens to all my crazy ideas with a twinkle in her eyes and flashes that brilliant smile of hers, which makes it worth the effort!... also along with Akhil and ankur, introducing me to the wonderful world of Dark temptations and cold coffees.

To Akhil, who sulks, screams and sulks some more, but in the end never forgets being my friend….and who draws the best penguins ever!

To Harish, who is incredibly intelligent and yet, chooses to pay attention to my inane babble. For being my encyclopedia, discussing with me everything, ranging from politics in Gujarat to messy love lives, and in turn, making me a little knowledgeable, too.

To ankur, for the sweetheart that he is, being someone who understands me and my thoughts, even if they are still in my head… and for making me feel important at the end of the day. And for one new word, everyday!

To Anuj, for being himself.

To Samarth, for not being around that much but still making his presence felt, everyday.

To Prakhar, for teeny bits of timely advice and being a part of my life.

To Timsy, for all the girly gossip and for being a fellow bitch!

To my sister, who really is the most beautiful girl in the whole world, who when I am sad forgets that she is 7 years younger to me and holds me close, taking in my fears and comforting me, who with her smile, makes life wonderful. For all the times she fights with me, and for all those times, we laugh without knowing the reason.

To my parents, for all the times I disagree with them, and get angry with them, for making me realize that in the end, they made me who I am.

To Baba, for never letting my faith go to waste.

And finally…….

To Ish, I never thought we’d ever get beyond that “hello”, but we did, and look how well that turned out. Thank you.


So here’s hoping that I can bring some happiness to ur lives too. Happy 2008!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

yeah....right!

Hmmm, so I havent been here for some time now, well, exams going on now, I don’t really want to say how god or bad they have been going cause regardless I never cross the meagre 7 even…..whats the point?

There are a lot of things I hate, things I detest, maybe they bring out my own character flaws or all that is incomplete in my existence but right now all I know is that there is this man I am related to, whose idea of women is barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen!...and I am sorry, but I thought we were out of the stone ages!............ I hate the not-so-subtle use of “since u are a girl……..” , well I am not going to get into how women have been downtrodden and blah blah blah, but u know, people are so busy thinking about it on a larger scale that no one even gives a little thought to things on a smaller scale, I do not hate this man, I just don’t like the way he is, the way he has been for the past 19 years I have known him.... I do not know whether to pity his wife for putting up with him or to applaud her for not ever running away! ..... we assume that the women being abused are those who have visible scars on their body, those who are kicked out of their homes,but what about those with the emotional scars, think of the heartaches that park themselves permanently on your heart refusing to leave , these are situations where it ceases to be about a man or a woman, regardless of who is hurting whom, it is about endless pain, that comes in small packets assigned to us at various moments, moments which sadly do not show up alone, they bring with them all that we lock up in boxes from the past and push to the dusty corners of our mind.

I don’t get this concept, how you become so oblivious to someone else, who was very much the centre of your universe at some point (or so you lead them to believe) ??

I do not hate men, like most others, I too just think that they are scum most of the time, but maybe it’s the “Indian-HAI MERA BETA” syndrome, that seems to give them so much importance that seems is ridiculous…..nobody and I mean no one has a right to pop up every now and then to say “ if u were a boy na……..”, please, humor me, had I been a boy, what are the superpowers I might have had??.... would I have been able to fly?, NO, more helpful around the house? , NO, better at anything else? Read my lips, N O!!! well I’ll tell u what I wouldn’t have done if I were a boy, I would have never helped around the house, cause it would have been instilled in me that I was the king of the universe, if that’s what is required of me, I could still do that, on one condition, that I never get slapped with the “u are a girl, do something!!”…….oh that’s going to make me MAD!!.... as in effectively break stuff. (that too counts as DOING SOMETHING!, u know!)

How people bring up kids like this is beyond me, one little spanking should have done it, sorry, that’s what u do to idiots like these. If I have a son, and if he ever embarks on an ego trip I am going all out to bring the little punk back on track and give him a lesson or two, making sure he’d never forget. I don’t really want to be Dr.Seuss, but giving ur children good manners and making good people out of them is better than pleasing them!

Yes, I too have a feeling that I am going to be the old woman in the building, that kids hate and annoy on purpose, break her fancy china and let her dog lose just to see the sunky buddhi run………………… yeah, well I am smarter, one, I don’t like dogs, I am not exactly THE CRAZY PLATE LADY and lastly, I’ll invest in window wala glass!! He he!!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

when i read the following piece, i thought the person who put it up was being his usual cynical self,i mean i have always thought highly of him, but here was this guy who has what most people dont, what most people yearn for and still he chooses to see everything around him in this light,when i co-relate my thoughts to his, i see myself being the kid which i probably am, seeing the world through a rose tint... nothing is wrong, i am the same, people are the same and the only thing that possibly changed is perception, not towards them but towards most situations.......maybe it is a good thing, to be all bitter and cynical,the idea is very appealing to me, i am reconsidering that "build-a-wall-around-yourself-idea" but really......nothing has happened........nothing, really.

People disappoint me.
I tell them at outset
they will. They insist...
(in not so many words)
"No, I'm the real deal..."
and sometimes
I am taken in. But
in the end... people
Disappoint, dismay.
Thankfully in most cases,
the lightbulb flickers
soon enough. In others...
Well they linger to crystallize
The Pain

PS: I am Sure that I disappoint people too



yes, i am being a baby about this, yes i am overreacting, but hell, its my life and i will, i am not exactly a saint and for crying out loud, i am 19 so i dont want to be Osho at the moment.surround yourself by people who CARE about u, be in their constant company...there are still things which u will never figure so perhaps it is better just to let all this just grow on you.

huh, being a cold-mean-bitch could be amazing, na??, maybe i am there already!........

ok bye.

ME-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of late, I can’t even carry on a decent conversation with people.

I hate these phases… and they seem to be occurring all too frequently. Having no idea what you want is a terrible thing.

Running away… hmmm… but I realized, the one thing I want to run away from is the person I am… from myself… but darn- it just keeps coming with me wherever I go!

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