Tuesday, September 29, 2009

मृदु मिट्टी के बने हुए हैं
मधु घट फूटा ही करते हैं
लघु जीवन ले कर आए हैं
प्याले टूटा ही करते हैं
फ़िर भी मदिरालय के अन्दर
मधु के घट हैं,मधु प्याले हैं
जो मादकता के मारे हैं
वे मधु लूटा ही करते हैं
वह कच्चा पीने वाला है
जिसकी ममता घट प्यालों पर
जो सच्चे मधु से जला हुआ
कब रोता है चिल्लाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई!
In the last two years, I have joined and left Facebook twice. Same with Orkut, I left Hi5! years ago. Don't know what this fixation is, at first things were new, it was fun, or so it seemed, now i find myself getting irritated with the damn thing.

Why do we social network so much anyways? Where is the contentment? It seems that people are putting up photos and coming up with quirky status messages only to vie for others' attention, doesn't sound like an adequate reason.I am confused, along the way, its become hard to differentiate whether people are truly happy or just trying to show someone that they are ?

I want to leave again.

I am leaving again, There's no one there i want to keep in touch with, there's no one whose photos/life interests me, there's no one there.

There's no one there.

P.s.- Its good that i don't develop this feeling towards my blog. Not yet at least.

Monday, September 28, 2009

samosa + jalebi + cholle bhature + kulfi falooda + keventer's milk shake + mom + dad + sister + SHOPPING(for dad but still) !!!

As Rajnikant sang in some crappy hindi movie from the 80's " Aaj sunday hai, aaj sunday haaai....aaj daru peene ka day hai!!"

You get the point!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Tantra, the lounge bar-disco-haunt of many a drunken college kids in Noida gives a reasonable discount to the amity bunch, but based on the way my friends have been frequenting the place in the last month (more like week, but i'll be polite!) The place should hand them Gold membership cards. They seemed to deviate to Elevate recently but in light of a "certain mishap", reverted to Tantra!! Seriously! But yeah Tantra's worth it, I guess we will miss it once we've gotten far far away from Noida.

Nothing else to tell, Aakash is on a road trip to Leh....I know I know, scenic beauty comes to mind when I say Leh..... the open roads, the fresh air, the non-pollution, Nature......I didn't get a chance to do that, cause before i heard road trip i heard the words "my friend's Bike" blended in nonchalantly.

BIKE = MOTORCYCLE, and when Aakash says bike, that would imply he shall be driving the damn thing through the mountains....... did you not hear, AAKASH PARASHER, bike, Ladakh, Leh, Srinagar, Kargil?!?

Parasher, you better not die!!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Distressful Homonyms

since for me now you have no warmth to spare
i sense i must adopt a sane and spare

philosophy to ease a restless state
fueled by this uncaring. it will state

a very meager truth: love like the rest
of our emotions, sometimes needs a rest.

happiness, too, no doubt; and so, why even
hope that 'the course of true love' could run even?

Following the genius of Seth's Poetry ardently, still!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

So I was best friends with him for, what felt like such a long time, you would say it was some years, 5 years, maybe 6....but it feels like a million moments, a million happy moments, some of the happiest in my life. I never thought of him as a guy, never felt romantically attracted to him (I guess i was the only girl who didn't), I thought of him as an extension to myself, the cool self assured extension that is.

We had known each other our entire lives, me as that guy from my class, the popular one, him as that girl from my class, the one with the pigtails, but we really hit it off in class 9th, somehow, god knows how. It began over some history notes i guess, he called home to remind me to get them along, I told him i remembered and then we giggled. That was the first of innumerable more phone calls, sometimes it felt like i spent half of the years 2003-2006 on the phone!! We'd talk, sometimes seriously, sometimes quipping over people we knew and the things they did. He got my irrational fears, he let me cry, always and bloody hell, did i cry always! We also laughed all the time, about something or the other, That one time about Nothing at all, for about 40 minutes.

We never fought, ever.

Maybe we should have, atleast we'd have learnt how to cope with it, we fought once and it has lasted forever, it is my fault, i stopped being a friend along the way. I forgot how to be the friend, and never re-learnt it.I stopped being there for him. The only thing i gathered along the way is how to hate my self a little more.

I know he is only a phone call away, I can call him,I should call him. He will be the same guy, he will be there for me, but the thought gnaws at my soul, inch by inch, The thought that I'll never be the friend again, that it'll never be the same again, that i broke something so precious. Maybe it is an excuse, maybe I just don't want to make the effort, but I can't look myself in the eye. I can't cause more pain and cause more damage than I've already done, The relationship I called the most important in my life, is not mine to ruin anymore.

Before, it was the relationship I couldn't put into words, now it is this dreadful feeling that clenches my throat and makes me face the fact that i am ashamed of myself, that i'll never respect myself again.

Everyone told me I was in love with him, but I loved him yes but never romantically, but maybe I should have been,a break up with a boyfriend is easier than breaking up with A friend, it is breaking away a part of yourself, but I did it anyways. As a consequence, as a punishment, I have stopped being a friend to anyone,I no longer capable of complete committed emotions, I don't embark on that journey since I know that I'll fail, I fail the relationship, I'll fail the emotion, Myself - I have already failed.

"I am so sorry, I am so sorry. I hope you don't think of me anymore, I hope you have written me out of your life. I hope you hate me so much that you don't even think about me once or that over the years I become someone you knew, who was a part of your life, who died....because that is what happened."


Saturday, September 12, 2009

Bye, see you.

Two days ago, this classmate of mine from school passed away in a car crash, it was so surreal to hear cause i had just seen him the day before in college, i saw him and i never said hello, i saw him and walked by him because i was too busy.

Don't you think we go through life, never realizing the impact of something like this, the concept of mortality is lost on us. . . that is, until it happens to one of us.

Rest in peace, Gurnek. Bye.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

super saturday

well firstly it is so interesting to see that the advertising guys are doing such a good job coming up with the nicest ad's, the most hilarious one i have seen is for a men's "unmentionable" :P - it shows men being complete pansies, under a woman's control, getting hit on and being harassed with statements like "har jagah aadmiyon ko cheda jata hai, jaise ghar mein baap bhai na hon!!" finally the guy went to a temple (with ghanti and all) and asked "kyun bhagwaan kyun!!" and god gave him macho BANIAN and aha macho man!! :P

i know i know Cheap thrills, but in a banian less world, i would like to chedo a few "ITEMS".... but i think priya and I already do that!!

so we had a pasta soiree today, invitees-priya ankur akhil aakash. pasta wasnt too great, company was! arre it was nice yaar, its been a long time. :P(i didn't go to college on friday after all)

and yes till the aakash cuts the mop growing on his head, i shall be referring to the hair as a separate entity- A Miss Marion Gray, an eccentric "ageing" club singer struggling to get by and inviting criticism from one and all, her life is lonely, she was a beauty in her youth, her only loyal fan is aakash parasher. . . i like Miss Marion, i liked her better before so will get her the elixir of youth(will go from the local barber to Mr.Jawed Habib!!)

Nautanki enough! i am going now, just dont say the words, cheese mayo or pasta for the next two days.
okay you can say cheese after a day.
FINE.....you may say cheese after an hour.
!!! chal McVeggie khate hain!!....with cheese of course, Write it! McVeggie goes with cheese, they're like Danish and Sarcasm, Pandey and Propulsion, Ankur and "not drinking".....Tarnacha and BLT!!......don't you dare separate them, they are NOT and Juliet, Shakespeare and satire, Oscar Wilde and chick lit or My nani and the concept of personal space !!

Write it.

Friday, September 4, 2009

I want to....

be able to drink and forget everything and dance on tables....but i can't.

be able to break the routine...but i can't.

to be late.

just sit there staring,silent, without a hundred thoughts in my head.

not ache over little things.

Hazaaron khwaishen aisi.............