Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Awake for hours and staring at the ceiling
Through the unsettled stillness of the night
He grows possessed of the obsessive feeling
That dawn has come and gone and brought no light.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

i miss....

my bed

washed clothes

mom's warm hands

nani frowning on my demands for "kucch accha" for dinner

my sister bugging me

dad's crushing scented hugs

DTC buses

seeing friends everyday

the sense of being HOME

nani feeding me dahi-cheeni on important days

hogging the remote

exploiting my power as a big sister

..................

i miss me!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Its funny, how the best things in life are circumstantial!!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

In bits I live. . .

I wish I could write. I wish I could put into words the turmoil that brews inside of me, the storm that seems to go on endlessly, and an ongoing wind that that the rains cannot subside.

The idea that I am at a place where I am indifferent to most things or am I?

Where I should be happy, I am sad. Sadness burns like an incense, leaves its smoke rings all around the crevices of my mind. Happiness on other hand is elusive, rare and invariably short lived.

How? How is that possible?

I live my life, day in and day out, but to what purpose? Where, I wonder, where is it that I want to get? What when I get there?

I constantly think about what I want. I make lists in my head, and then I tear them up.

What in my life will guarantee happiness? A job? Friends? Companionship? Love?

I don’t want to be sad, I certainly do not. But here I am, unable to help myself, unable to move.

No, I have never found

The place where I coud say

This is my proper ground

Here I shall stay....

Saturday, July 3, 2010

i recently heard someone mentioning how his blog was the best thing that he could have done to preserve memories otherwise lost in the ordinariness of daily life, and found myself agreeing completely.

I do believe that, unwittingly, in this blog i created a precious account of all details that I cant even recall anymore.

In other news, I am back in Bangalore, hopefully it'll fill my heart and I'll be happier, but nothing replaces the delhi shaped void in my heart.....

Akhil is in Hyderabad, I miss him everyday. Why, i wonder, we talk every single day, recount to each other the mundane sillyness in either lives, and yet I sleep with an empty heart, feeling devoid of his presence.

I think of him when I cross the road, and absentmindedly hold my hand out, for him to hold it reassuringly.

To Akhil,

"I love you without knowing, how, or when, or from where.I love you straightforwardly without complexities, or pride ; So I love you because I know no other way."