Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
As someone who's been married for 15 whole days, I can say, no, it doesn't feel very different to me. . . .I guess all that late night talking on the phone for hours from my bathroom really paid off.
I love waking up next to you every morning, contrary to what you claim, you do snore a tad bit, and no it doesn't bother me. I know how tired the day must have made you. Every morning I amuse myself by noticing how you slip to the edge of the bed, out of the quilt - stop doing that please, cause your arms that you lovingly wrap around me would feel lovelier if they weren't ice cold.
You never put the cologne bottle back in its case, never wear slippers and when nagged, absentmindedly leave three pairs of chappals on the bedroom floor, you don't talk till you have brushed, you brush in the dark - - -I love living with you, i love figuring out all this little trivia.
Be as you have been, My happiness.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Mrs.Lawyer I have become.
Here is a rundown of life, from the past couple of weeks - from the married me . . .
- As the wedding approached, I found myself more at peace with myself and with the spouse, amid all the panic and hysteria that the relatives bought, I knew in brief bits of clarity/sanity, why I was doing this.
- The 2 day wedding ceremony brought with it a sense of calm, I felt loved, continually cared for. When I saw him on day 1, I stopped fretting about how I looked and what I wore, I found a reassurance in the man who was marrying me.
- The actually wedding was a blast, a cousin of mine called me the happiest bride. Inside I certainly was. (Still am) :)
- The new house felt like a home in a couple of days, there was no need to look useful and be productive, it felt like my house. Here I could just be.
- The honeymoon wasn't anything as planned, but I wouldn't trade it in for anything, traveled over 2 southern states via bus + train + flight + jeep - no photographs to mark our time there but the memories we made will stay etched in our hearts.
- There were friends who made it to the wedding and whom I loved for coming in. Then there were friends who couldn't come but I love them for wishing me well across the miles.
That's a mini update for now, will come back with more later :)
Sunday, November 6, 2011
I go one leave from Thursday hopefully, then I lazy around and watch as everyone goes into panic mode. . .ah well being the bride has its advantages.
I am at the moment rather attached to my Blackberry, and feel immensely tech savvy . . . life has its cheap thrills, kya karein.
Will be back with wedding updates. Till then its 8 Days to go
p.s. -8 Days !!!!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
WPF applications get compiled in 2 steps, phase 1 is unseen by us, C# compilation takes place here, and since a c# compiler cannot complie XAML, we need a compiler to take care of parsing and compilation of XAML. . . .
that is what I was typing inanely, to get away from the fact that here, 2 weeks before the wedding, I am getting a slight case of cold feet.
Just as I decide I want to run away, The Lawyer calls.
This too shall pass, i know, but while its here, its kicking my ass.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
This Diwali also dubbed the last diwali at home, the last diwali as a single person etc etc was good, since I was away in Bangalore last year, this one was even more fun. Did the ususal lighting lamps and eating sweets, convinced the sister to go eco and not do the pataka business. Did get dressed up and all though, clicked some pics et al. Missed Priya, recalled the four years in college that we spent celebrating Diwali together at our place.
The Lawyer is away in Nagpur today, Bunty is getting engaged tomorow :) . . .Over BBM*,I am demanding that he sing a bevy of songs to keep me entertained in office, and I am happy to add that he is obliging.
The wedding is in 20 days. . . .yes, I am freaking out a little now.
We're honeymooning in coffee plantation/estate down south, its a short 2-3 day thing and planned to coincide with visiting Lawyer's grandma in Madras. Its where we had planned to go much earlier had he come to Bangalore. . .
*BlackBerry Messenger - Yup, I am a BlackBerry boy now :)
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
As we sat back on plush Beige sofas, for hours at end, throwing our heads back, laughing and staring at the halogen lights above, I think we arrived, without much fanfare, at what we consider at 22, our true calling.
We want to open a bookshop, we want to spen 10 hours a day in a couple of rooms lined floor to ceiling with nothing but books, no fancy offers, nothing. We want to open the bookstore that we looked all over Noida/Delhi/Bangalore for, where they wouldn't bother us with the "Best Selling" Danielle Steels or draw our attention to New York Times' #1 Vampire Fiction.
So there, thats our dream, a quaint bookstore, with oh-so charming owners (and very knowledgeable too ) and the scent of freshly printed books.
But to get there, I'm aiming to read 100 books in 2012. I am aiming to finish one of the lists, I am aiming to give all the classics a try. Leaving to Dan all the Greeks and Romans.
p.s. We'll name it Reverie, I think. For now anyways :)
I could never marry someone who smokes I decide, the abstract thought came from the nicotine smell my coworker brings back from his "tea break" every two hours or so. Its true, its a smell I can't stand, it becomes much worse when they try to suppress it with a menthol and fail miserably.
I don't know how I tolerated it in college, sharing a rickshaw with AG, asking/telling him not to light up. . Everyday after college as we stood waiting for the bus, he would buy his two standard cigarettes. Everyday I frowned.
"I'm not going to get addicted to it", he claimed to begin with, then that stopped, he couldn't kid himself either.
Every single day for 2 years or so, and now when I try, I can't remember what brand he smoked.
Knowing someone is about the small insignificant details that give us a sense of association or dissociation, does this mean I don't know him anymore?
p.s. I think it was Marlboro. I know it wasn't Gold Flake - He said that was crap. He also said that smoked a beedi one odd time , I won't get addicted, my ass!!
Monday, October 10, 2011
His gift was something I knew he would love, then I got all excited and gave it to him on Sunday, a full 5 days before the birthday!!
He loved it nonetheless :)
To The Lawyer, who likes the finer things in life,
You're the finest thing in mine.
p.s. He loved it so much that next year I'm going to be doing some serious thinking to top this!!
November 16 is the wedding, but the marriage, thats already in place.
A marriage that brings with it companionship, a sense of belonging, a couple of petty fights, a lot of love, a smidgen of dependency, a mutual growing-up and a lot of hope.
The future we want, the past we accept and the present we cherish are already agreed upon and understood, We decided to love each other along the way.
After November 16, We get the gift of time, we get to wake up each other, the arguments that we have can be had in person now, we can feel the love around us when we sit by, content (me reading a book, you working).
The wedding is approaching, but the marriage,
thats already in place.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
If I were to count to the different ways in which my life has changed in the past year alone, I would get lost in the vast topography of it, because the little changes have all been myriad and many hued.
all good, nonetheless.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
So yes this past year was the year of crying myself to sleep a few nights with severe bouts of homesickness, waking up regardless and going to work, looking forward to weekends like ur life depended on it, hating a roomates quirks and admiring some others, waiting for ur turn to take a bath and washing ur own clothes, cooking dinners on sunday nights, making sure maggi was a food group, having cornflakes and chocos as dessert, cursing the PG owners on any power cut/water shortage, bunking the gym for what was really important - the roomie's heartache, being ridiculed for not drinking in a room full of vodka-downers (and still holding ur own), of living on weekend to weekend Sales and of random hugs. . .
It was also the year I lived my life, free of anyone else, being my own person, answerable foremost to myself. I can have lunch alone now, watch a movie alone, have a conversation with myself and value my own opinion. I grew Up.
I'll miss Bangalore, but new things await in Delhi, that I'm hoping will bring as much happiness as Bangalore.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I said my goodbye's. Some people cried, some offered advice, some joked good naturedly, I got into the car and felt a tinge of sadness and some premature homesickness.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.
I am the eternal nag, I constantly berate the Lawyer for not saying things, not being as vocal as I am and so on, for it all, I sometimes get a patient hearing and a calm explanation, at other times I hear a "hmm" which drives me a little mad.
But then, once in a while, He says something with such sincerity, that it knocks it me off my feet. Today, it was a message, a long one, and knowing that he thinks any kind of messaging is an effort, I checked twice to make sure it was him.
Having not spoken much last night, This morning as I was starting my day work, his message came.
As I sat there re-reading that message, a feeling of awe passed over me . . . then it gave way to a contentment, the kind I feel in his arms. and then an unabashed feeling of security.
"Thankyou my Darling, I want to wake up every morning to you, for life. . .saying I Love You doesnt seem enough"
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
To her, their actions were a symphony, a falling into, an accord - but mostly it was what they spoke-that they spoke . . .half laughed words, unfinished sentences,cozy rhetoric.
In Neruda's words. .
"I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close."
* The Hotel Taj Man Singh In Delhi, which he passes by on his way, where he first dialed her number, where the telephone signal is inevitably lost. . .
Sunday, April 17, 2011
I am too young to be a maami I thought, and that man offered no assurance either, when told he merely informed me that several 30 yr old men shall be referring to me as Bhabhi. . Dude! I need to sit down, someone get me a Mojito, someone get me a tissue, someone get me Priya!! (yes, this is me hyperventilating. .)
I am heading home on Thursday, that is, in 3 days... I had a rosy plan wherein I would have landed in Delhi on a not-so-hot Thursday morning and would have been greeted with a warm hug from a Lawyer whose face would break into the most charming smile when he saw me walk out of the arrivals terminal. . .
But fate walked in and said, scratch that!. . new plan - Beti, call the excited lawyer and tell him that your father has decided to shower his love and affection on you, starting the day u step foot on Delhi soil and now your father shall pick you up!. . .
That implies, chances are that I meet him now when I turn up to get engaged, at the hall that can hold 250,in the blue Saree. . . I mean, seriously!
So, God, this is me, sincerely praying, please make my dad change his mind, please please please, coz I went shopping on Friday and I intend to step out of airport in carefully picked out clothes (and blow dried hair) looking effortless and charming. . .please God please. . :)
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
2. Speaking of words i disapprove of, I have a list of such words, which when used make me wince, The lawyer knows of these since i promised him that list after we first spoke. these include - Chill, jijaji and tasty.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close."
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
There are two different kinds, I believe, of human attraction:
One which simply disturbs, unsettles, and makes you uneasy,
And another that poises, retains, and fixes and holds you.
I have no doubt, for myself, in giving my voice for the latter.
I do not wish to be moved, but growing where I was growing,
There more truly to grow, to live where as yet I had languished.
I do not like being moved: for the will is excited; and action
Is a most dangerous thing; I tremble for something factitious,
Some malpractice of heart and illegitimate process;
We are so prone to these things, with our terrible notions of duty.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Its Draupadi's narrative of the Mahabharata, but the cover will tell u that much, what lies inside this book is a woman's perspective through and through. Now, feminist as I am (mostly), I don't mean it in the "bechaari aurat fashion" but to point out the fact that Draupadi is portrayed wonderfully, she isnt a cardboard character, she isnt a woman who stood by while people fought over her, because of her. Bannerjee brings her Draupadi to life, while engaging her readers in the timeless epic tale, so often forgotten, The Mahabharata.
The Last Song of Dusk - Siddharth dhanvant Sanghvi
Sanghvi's novel starts with Anuradha, a fabled beauty and as someone says, "when Anuradha sings, even the moon steps out to listen". Anuradha's beauty is and can be described a hundred ways, but in the course of the book her loveliness lies in her wonderful simplicity, the simplicity of her thought, her straightforward innocence.
Two pages into the book, Anuradha is to meet Vardhmaan, to marry the man she's never met.
A relatively simple setting,you'll think, but Sanghvi truly is a master of words, he doesn't need a twist or a turn to make u take notice. Words are his forte, more than the subject, he effortlessly (seemingly) turns a description into such poetry, bringing to the scene an almost Neruda like touch and go feeling.
Other characters feature prominently in the tale, the eccentric Nandini, the sweet Pallavi, Edward - The forlorn English lover, who died not waiting for love, but merely waiting to give it, and most astonishingly Dariya Mahal, the house that carries forward a vengeance with an undermined elegance of a slithering snake.
There are so many shades of love, Sanghvi paints each one with a brilliance, the blush of the first meeting, the realisation that his wife brings to his life a feminine scent of roses, the orange of her blooming heart when he returns to her each evening, the mad purple of his dancing when she announces the child's impending arrival, the heavy blue of leaving the heart that loves you without pretension behind, the vast crimson of a young lover flinging into the night the little blue box that contained his promise to her , the undying black of holding your dead child.
Much after you have finished the book, you will find that you left a part of yourself on the chaise, in the half-moon balcony, next to the single black rose, where a White man died awaiting his lover, holding on to his promise.
I cannot hate Bengalis for no reason, it dawned on me recently, due to the fact that I have a wonderful roommate who's a bong and I am now reading this regularly, so I am a convert. I do apologise for unleashing on all Bongs the anger that a few bad encounters caused. to make up, Ami Bangla shikchchi, but that is all i know yet cause Ami Bangla bolte paari na completely :)
so long then.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
"It may not happen in the first instant, but within ten minutes of meeting a man, a woman has a clear idea of who he is, or at least who he might be for her, and her heart of hearts has already told her whether or not she’s going to fall in love with him."
Dear prospective groom,
I don't know what you shall think of me, or what direction my photos might take you, but I wish to come clean, if you are even considering marrying me, you should know : -
I am intellectual, I read and was titled Miss Sophisticated in college BUT I love hindi songs, even the item numbers. jhintak hindi numbers bring back the girl who danced unhibitedly in Tantra for hours. . . I break into song and dance when in one of my moods.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Its 4.15 pm, I sit in the office drumming my fingernails on the table, waiting for Tanu to return, earphones are plugged in and Kishore Kumar is crooning, it is surprising how easy this new place has been to adapt to (touchwood) :)
Well it is my 19th day in this new project, oh yes, I have been moping around on the blog that I forgot to mention, I now work for Bank Of New York. Its a small team, some interesting people. Some days its infintely boring, I show up to work at 8 and wait for the clock to strike 6, but then there are the days where times passes swiftly, punctuated here and there by laughter or a cup of tea.
For these days I am glad that tanu is here, you see she wa sin my training batch, sweet genuine girl and quite fun to be around. She, unlike me, never mopes!
i meet up with neha for lunch usually, hanging out with Neha reminds me of the days back in college when i resented her, She was Priya's roommate and my contender in title of best friend and hence hatred brewed as we vied for the prize - Priya. . .but now, that Priya is so far away, 11,127 kms away , we both miss her - we realise that we get along quite well . Sigh, Life.
At home, they are actively Matrimony-ing, as i like to call it. My nani is convinced that there are no more eligible Iyer boys left in the USA and wants to marry me off to a California Wasi. Uh well, though i have no set thoughts on this matter, there are days when i sit back and just enjoy the show.
Ah well all that in delhi =2077 kms away, I however, in faraway bangalore am trying to live a normal life, dining on Sizzlers in Kobe, reading Palace Of Illusions, catching the odd movie, skipping the gym to have heartfelt conversations with roommates, waiting for the weekends and sleeping for the most part.
and with that, its 4.40 p.m., I am now 1 hour away from weekend-ing! Must make new shopping list, must cry over finances on monday . . . . ciao :)