Thursday, June 6, 2013

So I am still doing Yoga, albeit not everyday as planned earlier, but I am on it. No rice for a week, no aerated stuff, lots of fruits.

I honestly feel a little better, away from all that grease. I did bake a banana walnut cake in between, but that was whole wheat flour and was intended for the husband.

The only indulgence on these hot summer days is a glass of chilled rooh-afza. . .

Rava Idli for lunch today :) 

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Weighty Matters

I've always been a foodie, I take after my dad in that sense. When I was younger, and we lived with my paati(grandma), she made no attempts to hide that dad was her favorite child and cooked exclusively for him. Then I came along, and me, the first grandchild became her favorite lil fatty. She would cook and I would gobble it up, I was a no fuss baby, in that regard.

All through adolescence, my mum urged me to cycle, run and diet. The more she pushed, the more I resented it. My heart was never in it. The more she said, "dont drink that coke!",the more I drank cokes chup chup ke. I would take my cycle every morning and leave, my mum was mighty pleased, but I would make about one round and choose to settle down on a bench in the park, reading a book. Call it rebellion, but I was never the health conscious one.

But all through that time, in school and college, I did feel fat. and by virtue of that ugly.

Now when I look back at those pics, I am surprised that I wasn't as big as I thought myself to be.

Anywhoo. . . I digress, We are trying to have a baby. Trying for about 4 months now. Every month we get our hopes up and feel very disappointed when it doesnt happen, I knw I know, I've read every article out there about how stress will negate any chance of conception, but the stress is something we cannot seem to shed. The anxiety which comes parents and sometimes our own minds, and our dreams of the future. But there's no point talking about that now.

So we're trying, and decided to go see a doctor. They said the same thing I'd read for months, how we should not associate expectation with conception, and let things take their natural course.

The doctor then asked me how long I had been overweight, and I was crushed. I knew I wasnt healthy, the weight I'd lost at the gym before marriage had all come back and brought some friends too. I had a sedentary lifestyle and substituted food for comfort.

I knew all this even before she asked me, but having someone say it out loud, put it into words made me feel horrible.

I got on that weighing scale and measured out at a whopping 75 kgs.

You knw, I read people's blogs and see them have an "aha" moment about weight loss or other healthy life choices, it wasnt that with me. Even though, as of yesterday I am not eating processed food and junk, my heart is still not in it a 100%.

But I want to do this. The ideal weight for a person my height is 57 kgs, so I hope to get to 60 atleast.

So, I've gone on fad diets in the past, I wanted this to be different. I'm writing this down so I dont fall off the wagon and this doesnt become something said and forgotten.

I am doing this moderation thing now,where I dont eat outside food (- pizza, pasta bye bye . . . .) and allow myself good things but in moderation, for example one piece of chocolate is ok, the entire bar is not.

Momos needn't be bought everytime one passes by the shop and Pepsi neednt be drank just because its in the fridge.

God has given me a good life, its high time I make myself feel good.

btw, in all enthu, I started Yoga at home yesterday. . . . . oww ouww ouww, it hurts so much. . . some beginners pain nonsense that goes away only with more exercise. Sadists!