Thursday, October 31, 2013

so my bubble burst. . .   all these days brooding about my bad job and about my need to leave, I always assumed that I could always take one of the many job offers that land in my inbox, breeze through the interview and take charge of my life. . . Wrong!

I finally scheduled an interview with a firm in Gurgaon, left work early and went in to see them. I knew it was all wrong the moment i walked in, From the first whiff of air I knew this place wasn't for me.  I dont want to recall anything about it, I dont think it was too bad an interview, but the written test transported me back to class 12. Its just something about these stuck up places that want you to believe that they're cool.

It made me sad. You could smell the politics.

But this was a good experience, why you ask?, cause now I know where I am is not such a bad place after all. Its my state of mind that needs changing. Maybe I can be at peace for a while now.

here's hoping.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Monday inspiration

you walk into work on a Monday morning, there blows a soft breeze outside, the weather is fantastic. Its that time of the year, when you see summer transition into a Delhi winter, which means pretty soon all would be covered in a delicious haze as far as the eye can see.

You walk into work and eye your desk, with a hint of exasperation, you dream of working at a cafe instead, where you could bring someone a red velvet cake and indulge in some conversation with a delightful hippie from France. How satisfying that would be, you think.

You snap out of the reverie and sigh, swith on your computer and go back to your desk job that pays a respectable sum of money.

This is my monday morning quit-your-job inspirational quote.

"Remember, money is fabulous but you can’t put a price on freedom."

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Uggggh crappy day.... When is this going to end!!

P.s. its something at work. Its always something at work.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

lazy updates

Sometimes I am so constantly shuttling between despair and exhilaration that I leave myself confused,there are days at work where I am  sunny and beaming, feeling blessed and happy in the company of friends, and then there are those days where I am bleak to the point of falling of the cliff, where I feel like I've walked into a dark room and just cannot find the switch to flick the lights on. I've stopped taking it too seriously now, I read blogs where I see people go through the exact same thing, makes me believe that a quarter life crisis could really exist.

I picked up some movies and tv series to watch while commuting to work, so till I feel good enough to bring my best game to work, I am watching Suits, this lawyer and show and its soo good. Harvey Spector....ooh!

In other news, we have a bit of travelling to do before the year closes, November we have Chennai for a cousin's kid's first birthday - which I might add, I don't get the hoopla around, the kid is one, he's probably going to be hassled by the end of it. But to each his own, maybe it all changes when you become parents. When the joy of seeing your little baby turn one, overtakes all sanity. So we're going and partaking in their joy and playing our part, exclaiming dutifully about how the baby has grown etc.

December we have Nagpur for Bunty's baby shower that going to be elaborate to say the least, really looking forward to that.

In between we might drive down to kanpur for Dad's birthday on the 27th. Shhh, its a secret,if we pull it off, there might be great joy in seeing the looks on their faces.

Ciao :)

Something to think about -

"You might have had the guts to take the job, but you don't have the courage to stick to it." 

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Waiting for winter.

You know winter is arriving when you fought tooth and nail to stay in bed Evey morning. So its October and it's delhi. Durga puja has come and gone, Delhi is waiting for Diwali and then you know new year won't be far away.

And just like that we'll close another year.

I've been traveling in the metro a year now and every day is like watching a cast of characters pass through a sit com. There are   sleepy guys, creepy guys and those who want the entire train to hear their big boastful conversations.

These days I oscillate between liking my job and hating it. Sometimes liking my life sometimes hating it.I dream of winter sun at habitat center and then come back to reality with a thud.

Waiting for winter now.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Choices. . . .

I sat and reread some old posts from the dark ages,the previous job that is.

And I was surprised to find that for a while there I felt exactly as I feel now. The dread to step into office and the coworker hostility are all the same. The only difference?

Back then I didn't give myself the option to quit.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Lunchbox

So I got blogger on my phone and I am firing away. Its amazing how my absence on this space was linked with making the effort to log in and type away. Often by the time I got around to logging in and putting my thoughts on 'paper',said thoughts would vanish.

But here's hoping that changes and I go back to resuming the enthusiasm I had for a blog.

So I showed up to share that I made superlative lunch today. Authentic dal makhani and aloo capsicum. I am proud and beaming. And not being modest.

So what if my career is down in the dumps, I've got me cooking mate!

Ta-la.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Ranting still. . .

When is it okay, to quit a meaningless job?

Is it time when you are 50 and have tended to most of your domestic obligations? Or can you retire at 25  just longing to smell the fresh grass having no plan?

Who decides? Where do you find the courage? Why is something so simple so complicated?

what do you do. . .

when you hate your job?

when neither the people appeal to you nor the atmosphere.

there are days when I want to walk into my boss' cabin and say, "sorry, not working out for me". But practicality stops me, why give up a decent job over a whim. Why not just lay low and get the job done. Why not just earn your living, rather than try to "Love" what you do?

But is that living?

Shouldnt I be smelling the rain, watching the trees, enjoying my tea by the window,  staying home and cooking and being proud of myself for seeing the satisfaction on my husbands face, dreaming. . . instead of sitting in an office and being borderline humiliated for not getting the job done ?

As I read on TheMadMomma, "wohi to jeena hota hai,Nahi to sirf EMI bhar rahe ho."

Sigh.